Bar/Bat Mitzva


Bar Mitzvah Orientation


Mazal Tov on behalf of the BYSM community. We are always happy to celebrate with our congregants and the Jewish community at large. We will assign someone to assist you with any questions you may have to help you make your Simcha complete. Please email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Please contact us as soon as possible, up to one year in advance, to avoid schedule conflicts. If you are not familiar with BYSM, we encourage your participation in at least three Shabbat morning services prior to the Bar Mitzvah date.

The following is a typical Bar Mitzvah event sequence. Some follow these steps and others choose to do less. Our only specific requirement is adherence to Halacha (Jewish Law) during services.

  • Six months to a year prior to the Bar Mitzvah date most boys study laws of T'filin and reading of their Bar Mitzvah Parasha. We will be happy to recommend a teacher for your child.
  • During the week of the Bar Mitzvah it is customary that the Bar Mitzvah boy puts on T'filin in the morning service (Shacharit) and reads the Torah.
  • During the Bar Mitzvah Shabbat morning service it is customary that the Bar Mitzvah family honors members of the family with Aliyot during the Torah reading service. BYSM will be happy to accommodate any reasonable number of Aliyot.
  • The Bar Mitzvah boy is called to the Torah for Maftir. He then reads both the Maftir portion and the Haftara. According to Halacha the Torah reader is reading on behalf of the public in the shul. A Sh'liach Tzibur, reading on behalf of the public, is expected to keep Shabbat.
  • It is customary to throw sweet soft candies at the feet of the Bar Mitzvah boy after he has finished reading the blessings of the Haftara as a sign and hope for good blessings. We kindly request that those who throw candies refrain from throwin g candies at anyone or anything other than at the feet of the Bar Mitzvah boy in the spirit of celebrating the Bar Mitzvah.
  • The Bar Mitzvah boy usually gives a D'rasha following the Torah reading or at the end of the service. Most speak about the weekly Parasha, their Bar Mitzvah experiences and they thank their loved ones.
  • Most families choose to sponsor the public Kiddush that is held at Bar Yohai every Shabbat following the Shacharit service. Please let us know if you choose to do so. We will be delighted to help you with the arrangements.
  • We at Bar Yohai observe Shabbat. We ask everybody in the shul to do so and keep the spirit and holiness of the Shabbat. Taking pictures or videos, smoking and using phones are forbidden on Shabbat. Taking pictures or videos is possible during the weekday morning services.

BYSM is a non-profit organization. All donations and payments to BYSS are used to pay our expenses and are tax deductible. We kindly request a donation of $500 ($300 for BYSM members) for a Bar Mitzvah.